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Justin announces our WWE Champion, The Miz. Of course A-Ri comes bouncing out behind Miz, reasonless briefcase in hand while Cole stands and talks up Miz as his arms flail. Then he claps for Miz as the fans do the opposite. Cole yells for respect.
Miz says Rock is going to respond to Cena tonight. That’s funny because he called out the Rock last week, but he’s not responding to Miz. He’s not because Rock knows Miz is right. Sure, once the Rock was the biggest star in the WWE. Cena was the biggest star in the WWE. But their days have been numbered and have been for some time. What people have to realize is that he’s the biggest star in the WWE. He’s the reason the fans are there. The one the talk shows want. The face of this company. Best of all, the most must see Champion in the history of this company. It’s all about him. It’s always been about him and will always be about him. Speaking of him, people have been asking about him becoming WWE Tag Team Champions with Cena. Let the record books show Miz won the WWE Tag Team Champions and Cena lost them. Exactly what Miz wanted to happen. This is Miz’s show, he’s in the driver’s seat. He controls what’s happening here. When Cena’s rapping at Rock, he should be worried about one person – Miz, the WWE Champion.
If Rock and Cena want to go back and forth, so be it. At WM he’ll beat Cena, then he’ll beat the Rock. Did they hear him correctly? He’ll beat Cena at WM, on that very same night, he’ll beat the Rock. Then no one will ever mention them again. The only person anyone will be talking about is Miz. The greatest Superstar of all time.
A-Ri grabs a mic and tells the fans to get on their feet for the man who in 34 days will main event WM! Cena’s music hits. Cena, into the ring says he has very, very, very important news. Just like all of them, he’s upset because he can’t listen to another word Miz says. The fans shouldn’t put up with it, as Miz shouldn’t be talking because the Miz, he isn’t well. Cena has an envelope with ‘Doctor’s note’ written on it with big black letters, then a big red cross below it. He says he has a doctor’s note diagnosing Miz with obsessive compulsive disorder. Something we could all see, he’s obsessed with everything. Obsessed with being awesome. But if you look at this he’s average, below average. He’s obsessed with being must see. But if you look, it takes a microscope to see it. The obsession carries into his home life. He has over 200 cats, 1,000 pairs of blue dockers and obsessed with khaki. He saves his dog’s poop bags and pees in milk jugs. That’s only half of it. And it’s rubbed off on A-Ri. When left alone he sits in a closet and eats toilet paper.
A-Ri laughs at Cena and says he realized why so long ago they named toilet bowls John. It’s because everything Cena says is full of crap! His jokes fell very flat. “Cena” chants fill the arena.
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